The Onion’s AV Club, which has at this point become of much more interest than the Onion itself, did an article this week entitled Songs That Make The AV Club Cry. Not a terribly great read – a little obscure and pretentious and generally divergent from my personal tastes. But what it did do was remind me of the unwritten posts sitting in limbo on this site, three straight attempts at writing something ultimately unpublished.
I’ve been listening to music that can make me cry a lot lately, because I’ve been sad and fueling my sadness with songs of woe. That’s what the posts were about, more or less, and that’s why they remain unpublished. Venting and wailing and sighing in the aftermath of what should have been an inconsequential relationship save for the intensity of moving in together and the stark emptiness of her departure, punctuated by constant reminders. Her Christmas presents to me were a sweater I wear frequently and a painting that (after much internal debate) still hangs on my wall. We worked together long after she left me. She only recently took the last of her things out of my garage. And, oh, right, we have the exact same birthday, for fuck’s sake.
So that’s why it sucked, and feeling the burn from that has, along with the usual working, riding, and socializing, taken up the bulk of my time. Things are much better now, though.
I’m working my way towards having something interesting to say. I hate that this is all I have, mentally, but I hate writing nothing even more.